


My Alexander Hamilton

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Episode Tag, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-03-12
Updated: 2002-03-12
Packaged: 2019-05-15 14:58:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14792690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: This is a post ep forBartlet for Americafor all those who thought after the first 5 minutes when Leo said it was a family thing and the camera shot immediately to Cliff that we were finally going to get some resolution about the damn diary.





	My Alexander Hamilton

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

 

**My Alexander Hamilton**

**by:** Dee 

**Category/Pairing:** Josh/Donna  
**Rating: MATURE**  


**Notes:** This is a post ep for _Bartlet for America_ for all those who thought after the first 5 minutes when Leo said it was a family thing and the camera shot immediately to Cliff that we were finally going to get some resolution about the damn diary. I swear he faked us out on purpose.   


I grew up in a small town called Sun Prairie, Wisconsin. Not what one would call a hot spot of activity in the Midwest, but home nonetheless. As a girl the biggest shopping thrill I had was the downtown Big Kmart. One day when I was twelve, my gaggle of girlfriends and I were ogling the make up displays when my one friend dared me to steal a lipstick. 

I did it. I took the Hot Pink Wet and Wild and pocketed it. I had never felt so much fear or guilt. Of course there was also that underlying sense of excitement and the thrill of doing something dangerous. But for me the thrill was quick to fade. I remember lying in bed that night just waiting for the police to bust open the door and take me away. 

It was probably a good thing for me that I did steal it because in the end it turned me forever away from a life of crime. Well� mostly away. 

You see lately I've noticed that Josh is starting to have this odd effect on me. I think his criminal tendencies are rubbing off.

It's something that he hates to admit about himself. If asked which one of the founding fathers he most resembles he would always say Jefferson. Aside from the slavery and the philandering, Josh likes to think that he shares Jefferson's ideologies and political practices. But it's not true. He's so much more Alexander Hamilton. Putting aside the whole gunshot wound similarity; Josh is a player in the political world. He can be conniving, manipulative, and downright vicious when he wants to be. I've seen it time again and time again when he wants things to go his way and can't make it happen � politely. And when his honor is threatened or that of the people close to him� let's just say it wouldn't surprise me all that much if he ever challenged his enemy to a dual at dawn. 

I often think that if Alexander Hamilton had a competent assistant at the time of his dual, she would have been smart enough to hide the gun. 

And now I find that after having worked for him for all these years some of his dark side has clearly rubbed off on me. I suppose I should be worried. But thing is I don't regret what I did a week ago. I wasn't afraid and I certainly didn't feel any guilt.

*********

"Hey, so you know what I'm thinking?"

"Rarely."

"I'm thinking if we're going to stay late and work on the travel incentive package we should order crab cakes from Bobby's."

Josh looked up at me. "Why?"

"I'm so glad you asked. You see travel made me think of cruises, cruises made me think of ships and ships made me think of water. You know what I thought of after I thought of water?"

"Crab cakes?"

"Actually crabs, but you get the idea."

He hesitated for a second. Then he got the look. I was starting to become familiar with that look and I wasn't all that crazy about it.

"I can't. I've got a�."

"Date?" He hated to say the word. I don't know why.

"Yeah, with �"

"Amy?"

"Yeah," he sighed then averted his eyes. Wasn't too sure why he did that either.

"That's good."

"You think?"

"Absolutely. You need a little fun in your life Lyman." Even if it was Amy fun. 

"Okay, did you just call me Lyman?"

I smiled. "So if you're going out, I guess we're not working on the bill."

"No, Amy is stopping by here any minute. I was going to let you head out early."

Great. I wanted to be gone before she got there. It's not that I didn't like her � it's just that I didn't really like her.

"Okay. I'll call you tomorrow," I said off handedly then realized why that might not be quite appropriate given the fact there might be a woman in his bed tomorrow morning. "Or not," I said quickly. "I mean maybe I shouldn't because� well, you can just get here when you get here tomorrow. I don't need to call�"

"You always call me on Saturday morning."

"Yes, but I don't have to. You know you're big boy now, Josh. I'm sure if left to your own devices you can find your way here eventually. Or someone else can point you in the right direction."

I think he got where I was going with that. For a brilliant man, he could be really dense sometimes. 

"Oh. Okay."

"I'll see you tomorrow." 

I grabbed my coat and basically bolted. I wish I could say that things between us were back to normal after my little incident, but they weren't. He tried and I tried, but part of me believed he was still pissed. Part of me was pissed at him for being pissed and the other part of me still pissed at well� me for doing something stupid that could have put a lot of people in jeopardy. 

On the other hand, there had been an upswing to my act of stupidity. 

And now he was dating. Which I was totally okay with. Mostly okay with. Sort of okay with. No, not really okay with it, but nothing I could do or say about it either.

I walked along the mall for a while. It was only about seven and for late December it was actually pretty mild. Walking by myself gave me a great opportunity to brood about my life, my love life in particular, and why nothing ever worked out the way I wanted it too. 

Brooding naturally turned to a desire for food and since Bobby's crab cakes were already on my brain I thought why not? They were expensive but amazing. My intent had been to get Josh to treat, but I wasn't totally without means. Deciding I absolutely needed to indulge myself, I walked the few blocks to the tiny restaurant off of New York. I already figured out that I would take out. I single girl eating by herself in a restaurant on a Friday night was just a little too pathetic for my tastes. But I had already committed that if I did take it home, I wasn't sharing with the cats. 

I had gotten to the restaurant and was about to swing open the door when I spotted him in a back booth. Josh was laughing at something Amy said I guess, and my heart sunk into my chest. 

He took her to Bobby's for dinner. There was no reason why it should have upset me like it did, but I suddenly found myself wanting to cry.

"Donna."

I turned at the sound of my name and found that the sinking feeling in my chest was just the beginning. Now it was going all the way down to my toes.

"Cliff. What are you doing here?"

"I followed you."

Okay. Not to worry. All that much anyway. I needed to subtly get him away from the window in case Josh looked up and spotted us.

"You shouldn't have. We shouldn't be talking."

"I want to know how long I'm going to pay!" he shouted. 

He didn't sound like the funny charming Cliff I had gone out with. His face was red and he was slurring his words a little. Oh great. "You're drunk."

"Yeah. Maybe I am. You going to tell on me?"

"Cliff, go home."

"No. I'm going to say this. You didn't have to blackmail me you know. Gibson's slime and I know it. I wouldn't have let him� with or without your damn phone call."

"What the hell is going on?" 

Okay now it was time to worry. "Josh� I�"

"Is this some kind of setup?" Cliff asked staring at Josh as he emerged from the restaurant.

"No. Just a really horrible coincidence." I turned to Josh. "He's drunk. He followed me. He needs a cab."

"Now it makes sense," Cliff said. "He put you up to it. He told you to make the call. You see I wouldn't have believed you were capable of that kind of thing, but him� he's the fucking master of it. Aren't you!"

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about."

"Hail the cab, Josh." 

"Oh yeah. You don't know she called and told me to put pressure on Gibson to drop the thing on McGarry�or else."

Josh turned to me then and his expression wasn't pretty. I walked to the curb and raised my arms for a cab almost desperate to get Cliff out of there.

"See the thing is I would have done it anyway. I'm not after some damn scandal! I'm not a bad guy! So what I want to know is how long do I have to pay, Donna. How long do I have to pay for falling for you too hard and too fast?"

The cab pulled up and I opened the door. 

"Because we both know this hasn't even started yet. It's not him on the stand yet," Cliff shouted pointing at Josh. "He's the one you lied for. He's the one you're trying to protect."

"Get in the cab, Cliff," I said with a voice that sounded amazingly calm to my own ears. 

Thankfully, he stumbled into the cab. "I would have loved you," he told me his shoulders slumping. "But you were never going to love me back. Were you, Donna?"

I closed the cab door and didn't look at him again. Unfortunately, that put me face to face with Josh. Who was not happy.

"Donna tell me you didn't�"

"It was Leo, Josh. Leo," I said still feeling no guilt. He opened his mouth as if to protest. "Leo," I repeated. "And don't tell me you wouldn't have done the same thing if you had thought about it."

"Do you have any idea what might have happened? It could have backfired. Hell, it still might."

"Cliff's not going to say anything."

"How do you know!" 

"Because if he says something he runs the risk of getting disbarred, the only risk I run is being fired as an assistant."

"Don't say that," he snapped. "Don't say that like it doesn't mean anything."

"I'm sorry. Your guy didn't show up. I thought� I wanted to help."

"I don't want you to play those kinds of games, Donna. That's not you. You're not like that."

"Maybe you don't know me as well as you think." 

He actually snorted.

"Seriously Josh. I once stole a lipstick when I was twelve. I'm not the innocent you think I am."

He smiled this time and shook his head. The worst for now was over, but no doubt I would hear about this again tomorrow. "And you don't get that No Parking means no parking."

"Like I said, I've got my dark side."

"Hey, J what's going on� oh hi, D." Amy poked her head out of the front door of the restaurant but stopped when she saw me.

"Hi A," I waved and saw Josh give me a look.

"Amy, I'm sorry. I'll be right in. Order me a beer okay?"

She watched us both for a second and I felt like I was being scrutinized. I didn't like it. I really didn't like her. But she nodded then walked back inside. 

"You took her to Bobby's." I felt the need to point that out.

"Yeah� oh, I'm sorry I didn't�"

"Josh, that's fine. You can eat wherever you want. You should tell her that the deserts here are really good."

"You like the double chocolate fudge cake."

"What sane woman wouldn't?"

"You want to come in and join us�"

"No," I laughed astounded that he would even think that would be okay. "No. I was going to pick up something to go, but I'm not really hungry anymore. You should go inside. She's waiting."

"Yeah."

I started to walk away when he grabbed my hand. "Don't ever do anything like that again, Donna. It is dangerous and well, you're not� I mean you're no�"

"Alexander Hamilton. I know. And I won't. But it was Leo."

"Yeah. Thanks."

I left him and decided he was probably right. I wasn't cut out for a life of political machinations. After all that's what I had my Alexander Hamilton for. My job was just to make sure that, should I ever need to, to keep the gun well hidden.

The End.

Sequel: Her Alexander What?


End file.
